Help! Our ED Wants to “Just Write More Grants” Because Asking Individuals for Money Feels Weird.

I hear this one at least twice a week.

Sometimes it’s from a development director who’s been told to “immediately focus on grants” instead of donor cultivation.

Sometimes it’s from a board member who lights up at the words “grant funding” like someone just said “free pizza in the breakroom.”

And sometimes - honestly, most of the time - it’s from an ED who would rather write a 47-page federal grant narrative in 8-point Times New Roman with 1-inch margins than pick up the phone and ask a human being for money.

And I get it.

I really do.

Grants feel safe.

Grants feel professional.

Grants feel like you’re doing Super Real Serious Nonprofit Work Stuff.

You fill out the form, you write the narrative, you hit submit, and then you wait.

No awkward eye contact.

No sweaty handshakes.

No moment where you have to look someone in the face and say, “Would you consider a gift of $5,000?”

Grants are the best kind of fundraising for people who don’t want to fundraise.

And that’s a mighty big problem if your organization is seeking a stable source of income for the long term

Let’s Talk About Math for a Second

I promise I’ll make this quick because I know dorky numbers aren’t why you clicked on this.

But here’s the number that should keep every grant-dependent nonprofit up at night:

Roughly 80% of all charitable giving in the United States comes from individuals.

Not foundations. Not corporations. Not the government.

People.

Regular, everyday, loves-your-mission, met-you-at-a-coffee-shop, sat-next-to-you-at-the-gala-and-bid-way-too-much-for-that-Bohemian-esque-AirBNB-in-Ohmaha-that-would-have-cost-them-$1,000-less-if-they-just-booked-online-but-because-they-believe-in-your-mission-they-still-rose-their-hand people.

Grants typically account for somewhere around 5-10% of the total giving pie. And look, that’s real money. I’m not saying grants don’t matter. They do.

But if your entire fundraising strategy is “write more grants and hope for the best,” you are building your house on a foundation made of Jell-O and optimism. Delicious, opaque and slightly chemically tasting optimism.

Because here’s the most awesomely fun thing about grants: they can disappear overnight.

Funding priorities shift.

Government budgets get slashed.

A foundation decides they’re pivoting to a different issue area. And suddenly that $50,000 grant you’ve been counting on for three years?

Poof. Disappeared. Aaaaaaand, it’s gone.

Your donors? They don’t do that.

A donor who feels connected to your mission, who knows their gift matters, who gets a phone call on their birthday or an out-of-the-blue handwritten thank-you note in June - that donor gives again. And again.

And they tell their friends.

And they put you in their will.

You know who doesn’t put you in their will?

Grants don’t put you in their will.

Grants take you out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call you again.

Which, we can all agree, is rude.

Why Does Asking Feel So Weird?

OK so here’s the part where I put on my Philantherapy hat for a second.

The reason your ED or your board (or, maybe even you!?) doesn’t want to ask individuals for money isn’t because they’re lazy or they don’t care. It’s because somewhere along the way, they picked up this belief that asking for money is:

a) Begging

b) Pushy

c) Rude

d) Something that only creepy used car sales people do when they use that gross “double gun” pointing finger thing trying to “get you in a vehicle today”

e) All of the above

And if any of those feel true to you, let me reframe something real quick:

You are not asking someone to do you a favor when you ask them to donate.

You are inviting someone to be part of something that matters. There’s a massive difference.

When you ask a donor to give, you’re not saying “I need your money.” You’re saying “There is a problem in our community, we are doing something about it, and you can be part of the solution.”

That’s not begging.

That’s badass leadership.

But if nobody ever tells your ED that or if nobody reframes what “the ask” actually is, they’re going to keep defaulting to grants because grants don’t require them to be vulnerable.

And, putting on my nonprofit amateur therapist hat, my guess is that vulnerability is the real thing they’re avoiding.

So What Do You Actually Do About It?

Here are three things you can do this week to start making individual asks feel less like a root canal and more like a conversation between two humans who care about the same thing.

1.     Stop Calling It “The Ask”

I’m serious. The phrase “the ask” has done more damage to nonprofit fundraising than those companies that make you pay for trips at your auction and sell you on the idea of “cool adventures sell” but then you only get, like, $8 because the bare minimum to make your money back from purchasing said “adventure” was the maximum your audience was going to pay for an “Exclusive Nepalese Cave Exploration on a Domesticated Burro.”

And that’s saying something.

Because the second you say “the ask,” everyone’s shoulders go up to their ears. It sounds transactional. It sounds scary.

It sounds like something that requires a script and a power suit and maybe a briefcase full of interesting and professional looking documents.

You know what it actually is? A conversation.

That’s it. You’re having a conversation with someone who already cares about your mission, and at some point in that conversation you’re saying: “Would you consider being part of this?”

Try calling it an “invitation” instead.

Or a “conversation.”

Or “Tuesday.”

I don’t care, call it whatever takes the pressure off. Because the second it stops being A Big Scary Formal Thing, people actually start doing it.

Practice this sentence out loud right now: “I’d love for you to consider joining us with a gift this year.”

That’s it. That’s the whole thing.

Did the earth open up?

Did the sky fall?

Are you on fire?

No? Great. You just made an ask.

 See? You can do this.

2.     Start with the People Who Already Love You

The biggest mistake I see with organizations that are trying to build an individual giving program is they start by trying to find ALL NEW donors.

No. Nope. Stop.

Start with the people who are already in your orbit. The ones who come to your events. The ones who volunteer. The ones who share your posts. The board members who said yes to serving. The people who already know your name and care about your work.

These people are not strangers. 

You are not cold-calling someone who’s never heard of you.

You are calling someone who already raised their hand and said “I care about this.” The “ask” - sorry, the invitation - is just the next step in a relationship that already exists.

Make a list of 10 people who already love your organization.

Not prospects. Not leads.

People who are already in the building (metaphorically speaking.) Those are your first 10 conversations. That’s your starting lineup.

And you know what?

Most of them will say yes.

Because they were already waiting to be asked.

3.     Remember: The Worst They Can Say Is “Not Right Now”

Here’s the fear, right?

You ask someone for money and they say no and it’s awkward and you can never show your face at your local Pizza Ranch again because they will absolutely judge you on how many times you go up for additional plates of broasted chicken and your whole life is ruined.

Except that’s not what happens.

What actually happens is: they say “not right now,” or “let me think about it,” or “I can’t do that amount but I could do this.”

And then you say “That’s totally fine, thank you for even considering it,” and you move on.

And the relationship is fine.

And no one yells at you.

And you’re not in trouble.

And you go to Pizza Ranch and go through the buffet like a normal person who is oddly obsessed with their clearly rehydrated potatoes and packaged gravy, and nobody even brings it up ever again.

Nobody has ever died from asking for a donation. 

I checked. Zero fatalities. Not a single one in the history of fundraising. The survival rate for making an ask is 100%.

But you know what IS slowly killing your organization?

Not asking at all.

Sitting in your office only writing grant after grant while a community full of people who believe in your mission never gets invited to be part of it.

That’s the real risk. Not the awkward conversation. It’s the conversation that never happens.

This Is a MAYDAY for a Reason

If your entire fundraising strategy is “more grants,” you are one funding cycle away from a crisis.

That’s not pessimism. That’s math.

…or science. Or math AND science.

And if the reason you’re not building individual donor relationships is because asking feels weird or uncomfortable or scary, I hear you.

I’ve been there.

Every fundraiser has been there.

But here’s what I know after nearly two decades of doing this: the ask gets easier every single time you do it.

The first one is terrifying. The second one is uncomfortable. The third one is manageable. And by the tenth one, you’re wondering why you ever thought this was hard.

Your mission deserves more than grants alone can provide. Your community WANTS to invest in what you’re building. All you have to do, is just invite them.

That’s not weird. That’s fundraising.

And it’s AWESOME.

Ok, Your Turn!

I want to hear from you. Seriously. Hit reply, send me a DM, shout it into the void that is space and time. I don’t care. Tell me:

What’s the biggest thing that makes asking individuals for money feel weird or scary at your organization? Is it you? Is it your ED? Is it your board? What’s the block?

Maybe you’ve cracked through the fear and found a way to make individual asks feel natural. Tell me how and I’ll share it (with permission) so other folks can steal your playbook.

Maybe your entire organization treats “fundraising” like a four-letter word and you don’t know how to shift the culture. Tell me that too. You’re in the judgement free zone baby! I got you!

Send me your answer: patrick@dogoodbetterconsulting.com or just reply with INFO if you want to talk about building an individual giving strategy that doesn’t depend on grants alone.

Together, we’ve freaking got this!

-Patrick

P.S. This is one of a series of MAYDAY Distress Signals - real problems I hear from nonprofit pros every single week. If you’re tired of figuring it out alone, Do Good YOUniversity re-launches May 1st with on-demand training, community, and tools built for fundraisers like you. MORE SOON!