Quantum Donor Entanglement Theory (Yes, I’m Serious)

I watched a podcast interview about quantum entanglement yesterday.

Because I’m a dork.

And because sometimes after the kids go to bed and I’ve exhausted every other form of ways I can fall asleep, I end up at the part of YouTube where the algorithm wants me to hear physicists explain things that make my brain feel like it’s being melted like a candle I bought in my high school goth phase​ and stared at while listen​ing to The Crow movie soundtrack.

And somewhere between “wait, that can’t be true” and “I need to send this to my other nerdy friends at 1 am” my brain did the thing it always does.

It connected it to fundraising.

Because of course it did.

In the dark of my home, in the glow of a screen, and pretending I’m getting odd looks from everyone in a room, I muttered to myself “I think quantum physics explains donor retention.”

And then my still functional and rational side of my brain said, “Please don’t write a blog about this.”

So anyway, here’s the blog about this.

OK, What Is Quantum Entanglement? (The Non-Physicist Version)

I’m going to explain this the way I understood it, which means actual physicists will probably want to fight me.

That’s fine. There’s probably a Reddit forum waiting for this to get pasted into it and then mocked relentlessly for my overly simplified words describing it.

Here’s the deal: in quantum physics, two particles can become “entangled.”

Once they’re entangled, something wild happens - what you do to one particle instantly affects the other, no matter how far apart they are.

You could put one particle in Fargo and the other one on the moon, and they’d still be connected. Measure one, the other responds.

Immediately.

Across any distance.

Einstein called this “spooky action.” Which, honestly, is also what I call it when a donor renews their gift without being asked and I can’t figure out why.

The key thing about entanglement is this: once two particles are truly connected, they stay connected. And every action on one affects the other, even when nobody is watching.

If you and replace “particles” with “your organization and your donor” you have something super fun and finally lands the plane on why I blogged about it today.

Quantum Donor Entanglement Theory

OK, here’s my completely made-up, not-peer-reviewed, would-definitely-not-get-published-in-a-scientific-journal theory:

Your donors are entangled with your organization. And your actions affect them even when they can’t see you.

Let me explain.

No, there’s too much.

Let me sum up.

The moment a donor makes a genuine human connection to your mission - the coffee meeting, the phone call, the tour, the moment they saw a kid’s face light up because of your program - something happens. They become entangled with you. Their emotional state becomes linked to your organizational state.

And from that point forward, everything you do affects them. Even the stuff they never see.

This is where it gets interesting.

And creepy as hell.

Your donors will never see your internal staff meeting.

They will never read your board minutes.

They will never know whether you said thank you to your volunteers after the event or just went home and collapsed on the couch.

But they feel it.

When your organization is healthy, when staff morale is high, when the team believes in the mission, when the board is engaged, when the culture is one of genuine gratitude and purpose - that energy radiates outward.

Your donors pick up on it. Not because you told them. They just…feel it.

They absolutely feel it in the tone of your emails, or in the joyful tone of your phone calls, or in the way your annual appeal reads like it was written by someone who actually gives a damn.

Entangled donors don’t just give because you asked. They give because they feel something is right.

And the inverse is also true.

When your organization is burned out, disconnected, going through the motions your donors can absolutely feel that too. Even if you’re sending the same letter. Even if you’re saying the same words. The energy is different.

And they can’t articulate it, but they drift. They give less. They stop opening your emails. They don’t renew.

They’re not mad. They’re not even aware of what changed. They just feel…less connected.

That’s not bad donor management. That’s quantum disentanglement. (I just made that term up and I’m putting it on a T-shirt, and I’m gonna totally start an Etsy store and make dozens of dollars.

What Creates Entanglement in the First Place? We’ve Entered the Woo-Woo Zone

In physics, particles become entangled through specific interactions. Like, they have to come into contact in just the right way for the connection to form.

In fundraising? Same thing.

A form letter doesn’t create entanglement. A generic “Dear Friend” email doesn’t create entanglement. A social media post they scrolled past doesn’t create entanglement.

You know what creates entanglement?

The phone call where you asked them why they give.

The coffee meeting where you listened more than you talked.

The handwritten note that arrived for no reason.

The moment they saw, in person, what their gift made possible.

The question nobody else ever asked: “How do you like to be thanked?”

Every single one of those is a moment of genuine human connection. And every single one creates entanglement.

The donor and the organization become linked. And from that point forward, the relationship operates on a different level.

And since we’ve already jumped the shark, I can get a little extra woo-woo on you: That’s when your donor relationship transcends the transactional and it doesn’t require constant contact.

It literally sustains itself across distance and time because the connection is real.

That’s not magic. That’s physics. (Sort of. I think so. I’m a Politics major. It’s fine.)

Ahhhh, reading all those Oprah recommended books finally paid off!

Why the Unsexy Stuff Matters More Than You Think

All that behind-the-scenes work you do - the list building, the donor mapping, the database cleanup, the stewardship calendar, the case statement nobody reads, the board orientation, the debrief after the event - you think nobody sees that stuff.

They don’t see it. But they feel it.

When your systems are strong, your interactions are better.

Your thank-you calls are more personal because you actually know who you’re calling.

Your annual appeal lands harder because you segmented it.

Your donor meeting goes deeper because you prepped.

Your follow-up is faster because you have a system.

The donor on the receiving end of all that doesn’t know you spent an afternoon cleaning your database. They don’t know you built a stewardship calendar. They don’t know you rewrote your case statement three times.

They just know that something about your organization feels different.

That’s entanglement. Your behind-the-scenes actions are affecting their experience across the distance. Spooky action at a distance. Einstein would be super proud. Probably. I don’t know, I never met the guy. But I did read several parts of his Wiki bio, so I feel I’m qualified to say that.

Three Ways to Strengthen Your Donor Entanglement

Because you know I can’t resist three action steps. It’s my thing. It’s in my DNA now.

1.     Create More Entanglement Moments

Stop relying on mass communication to build relationships. Mass emails don’t entangle. Automated receipts don’t entangle. Social posts don’t entangle.

Human moments entangle.

This week: create ONE entanglement moment with ONE donor. A phone call. A coffee. A personal note. A question you’ve never asked them. Make it real. Make it human. Make it the kind of interaction where they walk away feeling genuinely connected to your work - not just informed about it.

One moment. One donor. That’s one new entanglement that will sustain itself for years.

2.     Protect Your Organizational Energy (Because They Can Feel It)

If your staff is burned out, your donors will feel it. If your board is checked out, your donors will feel it. If your culture is one of scarcity and panic, your donors will feel it.

You cannot fake organizational health. It leaks into everything!  Your tone, your follow-through, your creativity, your enthusiasm…everything. Entangled donors are picking up on signals you don’t even know you’re sending.

This week: do one thing to improve your internal energy. Thank a colleague. Celebrate a small win at a staff meeting. Take a walk before writing that appeal instead of stress-drafting it at 11 PM. Your donors won’t know you did it. But they’ll feel the difference in what you produce.

3.     Do the Unsexy Work (It’s the Entanglement Infrastructure)

The database cleanup. The stewardship calendar. The segmented lists. The scripts and templates. The board orientation. Sounds gross doesn’t it?

None of it is glamorous. None of it will get you a standing ovation. But ALL of it strengthens the field that connects you to your donors.

I like to, as of right now after talking about this stuff, think of it this way: in physics, entanglement doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It requires the right conditions, the right environment, the right infrastructure. Your fundraising systems ARE EXACTLY that infrastructure! They create the conditions for connection to happen and sustain itself.

This week: pick one unsexy thing you’ve been putting off. The list cleanup. The thank-you call schedule. The annual appeal rewrite. Just freaking do it. Not because it’s exciting (it’s not at all), but because it strengthens every donor relationship you have, including the ones you can’t see.

I know this whole blog sounds like I took a physics concept and stretched it until it screamed.

Because I absolutely did. But I’ve also watched this play out for nearly two decades.

The organizations with the strongest donor retention aren’t the ones with the biggest budgets or the fanciest events. They’re the ones where something feels right. Where the interactions feel personal. Where the culture is healthy. Where the behind-the-scenes work is strong.

Their donors can’t explain why they keep giving. They just do. Because they feel connected in a way that goes beyond the transaction.

That’s entanglement. And I, Patrick Kirby, a not-scientist, am declaring it the most powerful force in fundraising.

Einstein called it spooky.

But it’s not. It’s literally the best tool in your toolbox.

Even if you really still can’t wrap your head around why.

Same girl. Same.

Ok, your turn!

Tell me:

Have you ever had a donor renew or increase their gift and you couldn’t explain why? What was happening behind the scenes at your org at the time?

I’m genuinely curious. Because I think the answer will prove the theory that your behind-the-scenes energy was strong, and they felt it.

Or maybe the opposite happened?? Maybe you lost a donor during a season when everything internally was falling apart. That’s disentanglement. And it’s just as real.

Send me your answer: patrick@dogoodbetterconsulting.com

Together, we’ve freaking got this.

-Patrick

P.S. NO, I have not abandoned Do Good YOUniversity – we’re enrolling all our alumni and folks who wanted in early this week, testing all the things and making sure all the nerds I hired give me a big thumbs up and then YOU get to enjoy it too!!! MORE SOON! Until then? SCIENCE STUFF!