Permission to Be Tired (and Still Fundraise Like a Badass)

Friends, I’m going to admit something out loud: I’m tired.

Like bone-deep, brain-fogged, maybe-I-need-another-coffee-even-though-I-won’t-get-to-sleep-because-of-said-coffee-but-I’m-OK-with-it-because-I’m-corrently-so-tired tired.

The past couple of weeks have been a blur of travel, speaking gigs, events, conversations, and more windshield time than I care to tally.

And as I collapsed into bed after yet another long day (yes, it was a casino hotel…because everything else in town was booked, and yes, I was too tired to even put $10 in a penny slot machine) I can’t help but think: if I’m this wiped, I bet you, my nonprofit friends, are right there with me.

And here’s the thing: your donors are tired too.

School’s back.

Work is crazy.

Sports schedules, budget deadlines, nonstop events.

Everyone is stretched.

Which might explain why your “I called but haven’t heard back” list is getting longer by the day. Your board, your supporters, your colleagues…all of them just busy, tired, and overwhelmed.

So instead of pretending we’re all bundles of energy, let’s own the exhaustion, and then use it for good.

Because tired or not, there are simple, practical shifts that will help you stay effective as a fundraiser and meet your donors where they are.

By the way, I was going to come up with 10 ways here, but exhaustion set in and I have a lot of TikTok’s to send to my exhausted friends who, because they are exhausted, won’t watch or even send the courtesy laughing emoji back as a response.

So, here we go!

1. Shorten Your Pitch (Because No One Has the Bandwidth)

When you’re tired, you ramble.

As a human who, on a normal day, doesn’t’ understand what brevity means, this is an issue.

When donors are tired, they stop listening.

Now’s the time to trim your asks and updates to the essentials. Think of it like an energy bar, not a three-course meal: dense, simple, easy to digest. And, if you’re enthusiastic and kind? Enough sugar to make you sweet enough for a donation!

Exhausted Tip: Cut the fluff in your appeals, your phone calls, and your meetings.

Respect donors’ limited bandwidth and you’ll see more engagement, not less.

2. Swap Events for One-to-One Touches

If the thought of attending another gala makes you groan, imagine how your donors feel.

Big, exhausting events aren’t always the best use of energy. Yours OR theirs.

In fact, eliminating an event totally might actually be the best cause for relief in your overflowing brain. And your supporters (except Janet, who thinks that the world will fall apart if you don’t have an event. You know the one which you all stress out about because it’s been slowly dying for years but no one is willing to say “pull the plug” out loud because of the backlash of, you know, Janet) might thank you.

Exhausted Tip: Try “micro-engagements” instead.

A quick video thank-you, a handwritten note, a two-sentence email with a story.

These take less time to create, less time to consume, and often land with more impact than a rubber chicken dinner.

3. Listen More, Talk Less

When we’re tired, our instinct is to push through and fill silence with words.

As someone who as refused to embrace the word “brevity” knows this.

Resist it. Tired donors don’t want to be sold to. They want to be heard.

Exhausted Tip: Ask one thoughtful question and let them talk.

Something simple like: “How are things going for you this fall?” 

You’ll learn more in two minutes of listening than you will in ten minutes of pitching.

Remember it. Document it. Move on.

4. Adjust Your Timelines

That donor who hasn’t called you back? They’re not ghosting you, they’re swamped.

You know how I know? My voicemail is full and I’m 37 text messages behind as of me writing this.

And I assume everyone feels like this.

Forcing follow-ups every three days doesn’t help either of you. And in fact, it might just be more harmful than helpful.

Exhausted Tip: Stretch your timelines a bit.

Give donors more breathing room, but don’t disappear.

Space out your outreach with patience and empathy. Sometimes “later” is better than “now.”

5. Simplify the Decision

Decision fatigue is real. A donor who is exhausted is less likely to say “yes” to something complicated.

Do you have 18 calls to action or options for your supporters to take a next step? Start over.

Give two options instead. OR, if you want to be even more empathetic to decision fatigue, out loud where you want to meet or what you want them to do.

Exhausted Tip: Give people easy, bite-sized ways to engage.

Instead of a sprawling “multi-year naming rights” conversation, try: “Would you consider helping us cover 10 kids’ meals this month?” 

Lower the barrier, increase the response. Make more money. Use less time.

6. Match Energy with Energy

You don’t have to fake pep when you’re dragging.

I drink an unhealthy amount of coffee every day in order to lead by example of how excited I am about doing stuff.

I’ve doing this for years, and it might be more exhausting to fight for the enthusiasm of others more than ever currently.

But I think folks are seeing right through it nowadays.

What you can do is match their energy. If they’re low-key, be low-key. If they’re excited, ride the wave.

I’ll be working on this. I expect you all to call me out if I fail this suggestion if we get on the phone.

Exhausted Tip: Authenticity beats forced enthusiasm. (I’m saying again for me to learn.)

Your ability to read the room and adjust is often the difference between a donor feeling “sold” and a donor feeling “seen.”

The truth is, exhaustion is part of this fundraising and leadership gig.

The calendar doesn’t slow down, the budgets don’t wait, and your mission doesn’t press pause.

But you can adjust how you show up for yourself and for your donors.

So yes, give yourself permission to be tired.

But also remember: tired doesn’t mean ineffective.

It just means you need to be smarter, simpler, and more empathetic in how you fundraise.

Because whether you’ve got the energy of a golden retriever or the stamina of a houseplant right now, you can still do, and HAVE to do, hard and awesome things.

You got this!

-Patrick