I Used to Be a Fundraiser Like You. Then I Took an Arrow in the Knee.

Over the holiday break, I played an obnoxious amount of Skyrim.

Like…a concerning amount.

Like, at “Should I be getting more fresh air or at least move to the other side of the couch?” levels.

Like, my wife & kids walking past the TV and asking, “Are you fighting the same dragon again?” and me confidently responding, “Um no, this one’s clearly different.”

If you’ve ever played the best nerdy game of all time, you know the about the most iconic line in the game.

If you haven’t, congratulations on your emotional stability, and bare with the nerding out you’re about to embark with me today.

“I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.”

It’s been memed, remixed, and beaten into the ground for over a decade. And yet, it still hits. Because buried under the meme is a painfully accurate truth:

At some point, something happens that changes how you move through the world.

And fundraising? Oh boy, if you don’t think I’m gonna link this to fundraising? Get ready.

Fundraising is full of arrows to the knee.

The Early Days: Running Toward the Dragon

Most fundraisers start out like fresh-spawned adventurers.

They’ve got high energy, big dreams, shiny armor and zero idea how much damage dragons can do.

I guarantee that you started this nonprofit journey with all the gusto of a recently freed Argonian thinking you’re gonna change the world!

You might be the optimistic Nord who’s hell bent on fixing broken systems!

You might be a business savvy Khajiit who’s gonna raise ALL the money.

You might be an industrious Brenton that is out to prove that passion and hustle can overcome anything.

And for a while? It works.

You grind. You sprint. You say yes to everything. You stay late. You answer emails at 10:47 pm because what if this is the one that changes everything?

You’re out here swinging swords wildly, yelling, “FOR THE MISSION!” while your stamina bar is quietly screaming for help.

Then Comes the Arrow

The arrow doesn’t always look dramatic.

Sometimes it’s:

• A board member who ghosts you after volunteering to help.

• A donor who loves the mission but “can’t give right now” for the fourth year in a row.

• A capital campaign that stalls at 62% and just… sits there.

• A gala that crushed your soul more than it filled your budget.

• A budget meeting where someone asks why fundraising “costs so much.”

  
  

Sometimes the arrow is burnout.

Sometimes it’s grief or sometimes it’s realizing that working harder is no longer the answer, but no one taught you another way.

And suddenly, you’re still standing in the middle of a random working side quest not knowing where to go next.

And it sucks.

The Lie We Tell Ourselves (That was clearly started by a dirty Thalmor!)

The most dangerous part of this little adventure we find ourselves in, is that when fundraisers take an arrow in the knee, we don’t usually stop.

We just limp forward thinking it’s the necessary thing to do.

We tell ourselves that “this is just how it is.” Or we meet up with a colleague from another organization and think, “well, everyone seems to be tired.”

We might just convince our brains that you’ll rest later, or if you don’t do everything that is “needed” everything falls apart because “the mission needs me and only I can do it.”

So instead of changing strategy, we just lower our expectations and try and justify the lack of progress and momentum.

We sure as hell aren’t asking for help. We probably double down on a process that usually works and instead of evolving our game plan, we just curl into survival mode.

And that’s a terrible long-term fundraising plan.

Mid-Game Fundraising Is a Whole Different Skill

In Skyrim, taking an arrow in the knee doesn’t mean your character is useless.

It means you stop charging dragons head-on like an idiot.

You get smarter.

You choose battles.

You upgrade gear.

You use companions. (RIP Lydia...)

You stop mashing buttons and start playing with intention.

Or you just become a Sneak Archer instead.

Welp, the same thing should happen in fundraising.

Mid-career fundraisers, the ones still standing, aren’t weaker.

They’re (as my kids might say) built different.

Really good fundraisers have always learned that relationships beat tactics.

Amazing fundraisers know that systems matter.

Incredible fundraisers know that boundaries are not selfish.

The best fundraisers I know, understand that not every fight is yours to take on.

And once you start measuring success by sustainability? I promise you’re damn near at the end of the main storyline quest.

The Real Level-Up

Wanna get video-game philosophical with me? Some arrows are actually invitations.

An invitation to build better systems instead of heroic last-minute saves or to teach boards how to actually fundraise and open doors for you!

It might be an invitation to start to say no without guilt or simply focus on donors who want to cheerlead your organization.

The fundraisers who last aren’t the ones who avoid arrows. They’re the ones who learn how to keep adventuring after getting hit.

Now, is this the dorkiest thing I’ve ever written? Maybe.

But if you’ve been fundraising for awhile now and life produced something that slowed you down, and you feel a little bitter, a little tired, and a little wiser…

Congratulations!

You didn’t fail or lose.

You leveled up!

And you’re not done. Not by a long shot. You’re just playing a different part of the game now.

And it’s a way better build and storyline.

Unless you thought the Bard’s College adventure was the best in the game. Then we can’t be friends anymore.

HA!

Nerd on my friends!

-Patrick

PS – Have a dorky think that you do that makes you a better fundraiser? Let me know! Your secret will be safe with me, and it’ll be cathartic and therapeutic to spill that secret to a fellow philanthropy nerd!