From Asheville to Aberdeen. Some Nonprofit Nuggets of Interest!

Oh hi! I didn’t see you there!

I was busy unpacking from a few weeks of road tripping across the country!

And now I’m back.

And if you’re wondering, journeying between Asheville, North Carolina and Aberdeen, South Dakota (and stops along the way for gas station snacks and airport Chili’s chips & salsa) you realize that there isn’t a route any travel agent or airline has really considered when your launching point is Fargo.

There were layovers. There were rental cars. There was one airport Cinnabon decision I’m not going to apologize for to anyone except my digestive system.

I’ve been in boardrooms, conference halls, hotel lobbies, coffee shops, dive bars, and one very memorable parking lot conversation that lasted 45 minutes longer than it should have because neither of us wanted to walk inside and face our overwhelmingly chaotic inbox.

And I need to tell you what I found out there.

Because it’s important.

Because it’s the same thing.

Everywhere.

Y’all are dealing with the same stuff.

Different states. Different missions. Different budgets. Same conversations. Same fears. Same questions. Same look on people’s faces when they realize that the thing they thought was just THEIR problem is actually THE problem,  and a room full of strangers just said “oh my God, us too.”

So here are the nuggets I picked up from the road.

No framework today.

No three-step action plan.

Just the stuff I scribbled on cocktail napkins, the backs of agendas, and one very patient Notes app that is begging me to give it a vacation from my endless verbal babbling into it during hours of windshield time.

Here we go!

Nugget #1: Everyone Is Tired. But Nobody Is Quitting.

I expected to hear burnout stories.

And oh, I did. Lots of them.

But what surprised me was that the same people telling me they’re exhausted are also the ones staying. They’re not leaving the sector. They’re not checking out. They’re showing up Monday morning, tired and frustrated and overwhelmed, and doing it anyway.

That’s not burnout culture. That’s something else. That’s people who care so deeply about their mission that they’ll endure the hard parts because they’ve seen the impact and they can’t unsee it.

The kid who ate dinner because of their food pantry. The family who has a roof because of their shelter. The person who called the crisis line at 2 AM and someone answered.

They’re tired. But they’re not going anywhere. And if that isn’t the most stubbornly beautiful thing about this sector, I don’t know what is.

Nugget #2: The Organizations That Are Thriving Right Now All Have One Thing in Common

It’s not budget size. It’s not staff size. It’s not whether they’re in a city of 100,000 or a small town of 800.

It’s that someone on staff is making donor phone calls every single week.

That’s it.

That’s the common thread.

The orgs that told me “we’re actually doing pretty well right now,” literally, every single one of them, had someone who picks up the phone regularly.

Not to ask for money. To say thank you. To check in. To ask how they’re doing. To just be a human calling another human.

The organizations in crisis mode? Almost universally, nobody is making those calls. They’re emailing. They’re posting. They’re grant writing for things that are KINDA related to what they do. But nobody is picking up the phone.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face: the phone is the most underused fundraising tool in the building.

And the road just proved it again.

Nugget #3: Boards Are Confused, Not Malicious

I sat in three different board-related conversations in two weeks.

Different states, different orgs, different people.

But, it began with the same story every time: “Our board doesn’t do anything.”

And every time I asked the follow-up: “Have you told them what you need them to do?”

Every time, the answer was some version of: “Well…sort of. I mean, there’s the packet. And we mentioned it at the retreat. And I think someone emailed something once.”

Your board is not ignoring you out of spite. They’re confused. They don’t know what you need because you haven’t told them clearly enough, specifically enough, or recently enough.

Giving your leadership team a (SHORT) menu of your needs to choose from. The help-us-open-one-door ask works. I watched it work in real time in Asheville and I watched it work in real time in Aberdeen. Same framework. Same results. Two thousand miles apart.

Nugget #4: Nobody Thinks They’re Allowed to Try Something Different

This one was kinda dumb. Or at least kinda ruffled my proverbial feathers.

I was having a sidebar conversation with a nonprofit after a session and she said, “I KNOW our annual gala isn’t working. I KNOW we should try to do something different. But I feel like I need permission to do it.”

Permission from who?

From the board? They’ll support you if you show them the math.

From the donors? They’ll thank you for respecting their Saturday night.

From the ghost of galas past? She’s not coming back. She left in a huff 3 years ago with the centerpieces under her arms.

You have permission. 

Right here. Right now. From a guy who’s been doing this for over two decades and has seen the data and will stand next to you when you make the call.

Try the friendraising event. Rewrite the appeal. Kill the golf tournament. Change the format. Do the weird thing.

You do not need a committee vote to innovate. You need the courage to show the math and make the case.

Nugget #5: The Power of "Us Too"

In every room I was in over the last two weeks, there was a moment - sometimes early, sometimes late - where someone said something aggressively honest.

Something they’d been holding on to for WAY too long. Something they thought was just their problem.

And the room responded with: “Us too.”

“Our board chair hasn’t had a real conversation with me in months.” Us too.

“We haven’t updated our website in three years.” Us too.

“I feel guilty taking a day off.” Us too.

“I don’t actually know how to make a major gift ask.” Us too.

“I’m scared we’re not going to make it through the year.” Us too.

And every single time, you could watch the tension leave the room.

Not because the problem was solved. Because the problem seemed lonely

Apparently the most therapeutic two words in the nonprofit sector aren’t “self care.” They’re “Us too.”

You are not the only one dealing with this. Whatever THIS is. The budget stress, the board drama, the donor silence, the burnout, the imposter syndrome, the parking lot full of good intentions - someone in a room a thousand miles from you is dealing with the exact same thing right now.

And knowing that doesn’t fix it.

But it sure as hell makes it lighter.

I came home from two weeks on the road exhausted and energized at the same time, which is a feeling I’m pretty sure only exists in the nonprofit sector and maybe long-distance running, neither of which I’d recommend to someone seeking a calm, cool and collected life.

But here’s what the road reminded me:

This sector that I love so much is full of extraordinary people doing impossible work with insufficient resources and too little recognition. 

And they keep doing it. Not because the job is easy, but because the work matters and they’ve seen what happens when they show up.

From Asheville to Aberdeen, the mission is the same: do good. Better. With whatever you’ve got.

Oh, and don’t do it alone.

That’s the whole thing. That’s what I found out there. And I’m bringing it back to you because you deserve to hear it, even if you didn’t get to be in the room.

Consider this your postcard from the Blue Mountains…or the Hub City.

So, you’re turn!

Tell me:

What’s your “us too” right now? What’s the thing you’ve been carrying that you think is just your problem?

Say it out loud. Hit reply. I promise you,  someone else is dealing with it too. And hearing that might be the most useful thing you read all week.

Send me your answer: patrick@dogoodbetterconsulting.com

And BY THE WAY.  If you want a room where “us too” happens every single week - where fundraisers from across the country share what’s working, what’s not, and what they’re carrying – that’s the community inside Do Good YOUniversity. The hallway conversation that never ends. Come join us at www.DoGoodYOUniversity.com

Together, we’ve freaking got this.

-Patrick